Testimonials

 Warning !! :  Before starting to read this story, please note that Jayne's story describes trauma and sexual abuse. If you feel you could be emotionally triggered by reading about traumatic experiences, please do skip this testimonial. 

In Jayne's own words: 

Have you ever wondered to yourself what is my purpose? Told yourself there must be more to life than this? Been rejected by someone who wasn’t even worth your time of day? Oh and my absolute favourite, asked yourself: WHY ME?! These thoughts were ones that led me towards getting help from Addy. 

Okay, I did not have much of a starting point in life. Being brought up by toxic narcissistic parents, my early memories were of violent fighting and being thrown across the room by my dad at three years old. 

Dad had a work ‘friend’ who would turn up at the house unannounced and whilst mum was making a cup of tea, he was in another room sexually abusing me, my brother and sister. He played tickling games for sweets; I still remember the pain. 

Mum and dad divorced when I was five, mum cried a lot and took to her bed for weeks in a deep depression. We had no money, no food, and countless empty promises from dad that he would send us money. He never did. 

I was bullied in school for not having a dad around. Divorce was a stigma in the 60’s and support was limited at best. When I was eight, mum brought a man home. He was a lot younger than her, in his 20’s. Shortly after he he moved in with us and not long after that, mum was pregnant. This was when he began sexually abusing me. 

He was very cruel and would repeatedly beat my older brother and sister with a hardwood stick as punishment for something he did not approve of. My younger brother was psychologically abused, forced to stand with his back against the wall waiting for his turn for a beating that never came. He stood there frozen with fear, waiting for it all the same. My mum did nothing, only excusing his behaviour by telling us ‘you kids need discipline’.

There is nothing like an abusive childhood to bring out the determination and focus in a person. I’ve been very successful in my career. The first ever in my family to go to university and gain a degree. Had many high-powered boyfriends and a rock and roll marriage. However, all my relationships were with narcissists. I knew how to behave around them. Adjusting my behaviours to suit their mood swings. Allowing appalling abuse and excusing it and ignoring every single red flag ever flown! I lost myself down a deep, dark and slimy well.

Before I found Addy, I had 18 years of counselling. It got me to a point where one day in my late 50’s I had the courage to go to the police and report the childhood sexual abuse. My stepdad was arrested and charged. He pleaded not guilty of course but at the trial he was found guilty and was sent to jail. YAY! So I thought!: “Now I can live my life free of the abuse stigma, I can have the rewarding romantic relationship that had always eluded me, I can live my life free of all the bad self-destructive thoughts!”. No such luck. I realised that my journey towards emotional recovery had only just begun.  

At this point in my life, I realised I needed further and deeper help. Counselling had helped me to make the first steps towards being able to open up about what had happened to me, and eventually giving me the courage to seek justice for what had happened to me. Now deeper emotional healing was needed, to help me move forward in life and to learn to connect with my inner strength again. And most importantly, to learn to truly love and respect myself (again). 

This is when I started working with Addy. Addy, with her strong background in psychology, used her knowledge and skills to help me understand my thought patterns, and to help me connect to that sense of inner-connection that I had forgotten about for so long.  We did brain training together, which really was about introducing new ways to cope with the traumatic memories, and to learn to recognise where I was telling myself untruths through automatic self-talk. My inner-dialogue was very negative, and it was a revelation to me to learn that “I am not my thoughts”, and “thoughts do not always reflect the objective truth”. We also used visualization techniques to develop new ways to experience myself within my life’s experiences.

This was amazing. I was able to quieten the negative thoughts. They had less of an impact and less power. Addy helped me see that I needed to learn to love myself before I sought it from someone else. She helped me find my spirituality. 

In 2021, in the middle of Covid, I was diagnosed with breast Cancer. I continued to work with Addy, using psychology sessions. 

If that wasn’t enough, Addy has now introduced me to Qigong to further aid my body with the journey back to health. The Qigong that Addy teaches is part of the school of Ren Xue, and she explained that this is a system that offers a complete road towards better mental and emotional health, and very importantly offers a pathway to connect me with my spirituality. A better connection with- and understanding of- my true inner self, is something that I have been longing for, for such a long time. I absolutely love going through the practise and with Addy’s coaching she makes it an awesome experience. 

My future looks so very different now. My outlook on myself has changed, and I am now able to make decisions that support my true wellbeing. I have learnt that taking care of myself and honouring myself, is not a luxury and it is not selfish… It is essential! The years following the court case were difficult, to say the least, but it has brought me on a path of self-healing and self-discovery in the deepest sense. I have learnt that bad experiences can be turned into positive growth, through hard work, courage, and true introspection. As hard as it was, this journey was made so much easier with the right support and guidance, at a time when I most needed it.